On angels, psychic saviors, fallen gurus, and sovereignty

And the magic of being human

Remember Doreen Virtue? 

If you’re spiritually inclined and over 30 there’s a very good chance you know this former Hay House superstar.

One of the authors who really propelled Hay House to its current status, Doreen is probably best known for her oracle cards — angel cards, fairy cards, ascended master cards, unicorn cards, archangel cards, goddess cards…So. Many. Cards.

I actually must credit Doreen with helping to open up my own psychic abilities. When I was only 21, I had the opportunity to attend an in-person workshop with her in London. 

I sat next to a lovely woman, and we practiced doing intuitive readings for each other. It was wild.

I saw, with my third eye, a blue man peeking over her shoulder. I didn’t automatically know who he was — just that he was a real ally for her. In the moment, I couldn't think of what on earth a blue man would mean, but he felt ancestral. I didn’t make the connection that she was Indian ;)

When I shared, her eyes got wide and she exclaimed, “That’s Krishna!” It turns out, she had been working with Krishna closely for some time, and my vision provided her with immense validation and encouragement. 

For me, she saw a man named Michael, who, for some reason, was wearing a plaid shirt and glasses. I knew immediately that this was the Archangel Michael — though why he would be wearing plaid and glasses was beyond me… 

Until a few weeks later. As my youthful solo travels around Europe continued, I ended up stranded at a ferry station in Sweden. I’d mixed up the numbers on my ticket, as everything was written in a foreign language, and had missed my boat to Helsinki, where I’d planned to stay with a local friend that night. 

Exhausted, scared, and with nowhere to stay late at night in a foreign country (I seemed to have way too many of those experiences during my wild youth…), I broke down. Waiting at the ticket counter for help, sniffling and trying not to make too much of a scene, a kind man turned to me. 

He was American and holding a jack russell terrier. These were the kind of dogs I had at home, and just seeing one brought me a homey feeling. Immediately I felt kindness radiate from this man — who was wearing a red plaid shirt and glasses. 

He smiled at me and told me everything would be okay. I’m not sure I believed him, but I tried. He said his name was Michael, and he left. 

And everything was okay, though a bit rougher than my original plans. I got on an overnight boat that happened to be carrying Elton John’s crew across the waters to a show in Finland. I made it over safely and got a free ticket to his concert. I wasn’t a huge fan, but it was a fun experience. I was exhausted by the end of everything, but I was okay. 

I believe Doreen was truly connected to the spirit realms during this time, and I’ll forever be grateful for the ways her teachings opened me to the realms of angels, gods and goddesses, and ascended masters from around the world. 

The Psychic Savior Industry

Yet…there’s a trap that emerges with teachers like Doreen. I call it the psychic savior phenomenon. 

Back in the 90s and early 2000s this was huge — I’m honestly not tracking how much it still occurs today (let me know what you think in the comments, please!). 

I use the term psychic savior for when we give over our own knowing, our own intuition, and most importantly our own decision making, to someone we perceive as being more intuitive or psychically connected to spirit than we are. 

While this has always been a part of guru-based religions and spiritual practices — you need the guru or priest as a mediary to higher realms and wisdom — the 90s brought it to the masses under the guise of personal empowerment. 

This definitely isn’t all bad and isn’t all intentional, either. There is real personal empowerment in the materials Hay House and other such companies publish, and there are very real teachings for deepening your connection with spirit from many of the biggest authors in this world. 

Yet as much as the most well-known psychics profess ideas that “you can do it!” and host millions of “anyone be psychic” workshops, the audience, for the most part, ends up disempowered. 

Part of this is because of brand of “psychic” being sold is very different from the subtle, intuitive knowing most of us experience.

Instead, we imagine that these powerful psychics can see and hear spirits as clearly as if they’re in physical form. We think that the spirits will always tell us exactly what to do to be forever happy, and we’ll hear the answers clearly once we’re more psychic, too. 

When we can’t get to this “level”, we assume either that we just aren’t psychic or that we’re not psychic enough — yet. 

So, the power goes back to the psychic saviors. They’re the ones with the connections. They’re the ones who can tell us what to do. 

Can’t afford a $500 reading with one of these famous psychics? Get their card decks, and keep drawing cards until you get the answer you’re looking for. 

The psychic savior phenomenon is rooted in one of the most pervasive pit holes on the spiritual path: The idea that when you can hear spirit clearly, or when you’re in alignment with your highest self, you’ll always know what to do. 

It’s a vision that pretty much anyone in this tract of the helping industries pedals: Your life flows. It’s filled with synchronicities. You can hear your “hell yes’s” easily and drop the fear to follow them. Your alignment with spirit leads to wealth, relationships, children, dream homes, dream jobs, and anything else your heart desires. And of course, especially if you are a woman (and in this marketing arena there’s a good chance you are), you also become “radiant” — because alignment looks good on you.

Honestly though, who doesn’t want this vision of life? 

I’m on a new level…

(↑ A$AP Ferg lyric stuck in my head, not my actual self-promotion…)

I’ve spent a lifetime in the spiritual wellness industry — as both a consumer of these goods as well as a producer of them. I worked for a major spiritual publishing house for six years, I see clients as a spiritual coach and healer, and I’ve read all the books and done all the trainings (really).

And I have almost no regrets. By far, the benefits of this path have outweighed the harms. Yet…the shadows, including unintentional harm, held within the spiritual wellness industry are real and worthy of excavation.

So what really happens when we “reach” what feels like a new level of spiritual awakening? Life. Life goes on — though perhaps with a bit more soulful fulfillment, presence, equanimity, and appreciation for the everyday miracles that surround us. And this is no small thing.

I’ve had numerous spiritual awakenings throughout my life. Those magical moments where all of the sudden I’m actually able to astral travel. Or I get a download of the true purpose of this life from higher perspectives. I’m able to feel energy as if it were in solid, physical form. I receive a realization or vision that sends me riding a wave so high it feels as if everything will always be wonderful because I finally “get it”. 

Ha.

As an extremely sensitive soul with a whole lot of Scorpio and 12th house energy (yeah, I spend a lot of time alone pondering the darkness of existence…), the clarity and connection I receive through these mystical experiences fuels my survival.

And yet, they are not the point. And they do not mean I’ve made it. And they do not mean I don’t make terrible decisions, deal with regret and all sorts of self-sabatoging emotions, or face challenges with my health, finances, and relationships. 

Because this is the art of being human.

I know this is nothing new. There’s a reason the first noble truth of Buddhism is “life is suffering”. Yet, no matter how much our soul’s might recognize this truth, our egos really want to believe that psychic saviors can make our lives better. 

And here’s what I know about psychic guidance and making decisions: More often than not, the process of actually making a decision is the whole point. 

The Process is the Purpose + True Oracles

Decisions, especially big ones, require soul-searching, coming into clarity with our own values, cultivating bravery and resilience, developing self-compassion, taking leaps of faith, and so much more. 

(For the astrologically inclined, while Scorpio is home to much of my planetary power, my sun, moon, and ascendent are all in Libra. So, yeah. I’m probably a little extreme when it comes to agonizing over decisions and processing every single aspect in order to choose some theoretically “correct” outcome.)

Decisions are also the main reason many of my clients find me. Whether they need to decide where to live, who to date, whether or not to take a job or start a business, how to get out of debt, or how to heal a mystery ailment…what they’re really asking is which choices will make their lives better. 

Time and again, the spirits tell me that they will not tell someone what to do. They will share broader perspectives and offer healings that unlock supportive flows of energy and restore personal wholeness. But they won’t really say, “do this” — because so often, the process is the purpose.

That said, there are times when very clear information comes through on exactly what a client (or myself) should do. And I know a handful of psychics who provide remarkably specific and prescriptive guidance that has positive effects on their clients’ lives. 

It comes down to the difference between a psychic savior and a true oracle. 

Psychic saviors always end up disempowering those who turn to them for help. There’s an underlying current that makes people feel as if they simply can’t make a decision without the help of their savior. The psychic savior sells the lie that when you connect with spirit, you will no longer make mistakes. 

The oracle brings through clear spiritual information without any agenda, and they continually work at getting their egos out of the way. The oracle offers themselves not as an unquestionable savior, but as one of many ways that spirit communicates with us. 

The Fall of the Guru

For a while, it seemed as if another “guru” fell from grace every week. Spiritual leaders like Chogyam Trumpa or Sadh Guru, more yoga teachers than can be listed, and cult leaders like in NXIVM.

Then came the bizarre exodus of popular new thought spiritual teachers from love and light to fundamental religions. Doreen Virtue isn’t the only teacher to go this path, but she is one of the most well-known. 

If you were never part of the cult of Doreen — that really is what it felt like — you might not understand how impactful her switch to born-again Christianity was for many people. 

Mostly women, who had followed her for decades, were suddenly faced with the questions: Was any of this real? Were her teachings bad? What does this mean for me? 

I reserve all judgment and trust Doreen’s soul on the paths she chooses. I also feel that there are some divinely orchestrated gifts that have come from her public renunciation of Hay House. By stepping away in the drastic manner she did, she helped break the mirage of the psychic savior. 

The era of the guru is over. However helpful hierarchical structures may have been in the past, our current era asks us to take our power back. 

Our sovereignty. Our ability to trust our own intuition. To take responsibility for our lives — the decisions we make, where we place our energy, and whatever outcomes unfold for better or worse — this is the art of being human. 

A brief and somewhat related note on Saraswati…

For years, my spiritual explorations of deities from around the world were inspired by Doreen’s oracle cards and books.

I remember reading about Saraswati as the patron goddess of the arts, a being who could inspire creativity and assist us in any artistic pursuits. 

What a ridiculously limited view of one of Hinduism’s primary deities. 

It wasn’t until studying with an actual Indian master that I began to understand the breadth of gifts that Sarasvati shares. She is partner to Brahma in creating the universe. She blesses us with wisdom and higher mind. She embodies sovereignty and self-worth. 

In many ways, I feel as if Saraswati is the benefic goddess of culture in it’s most exquisite, creative form. 

Much of my work revolves around rewilding, and helping humans decondition from the harmful effects of unquestioned enculturation. At the same time, human expression of high culture and the arts alights my soul. 

That a human being could be blessed with the ability to express cosmic truths through material form, to translate emotions into beauty, to find and articulate meaning through stories or songs or poems with universal resonance…this too, is the magic of being human.

For anyone who wishes to dive deeper into the gifts of Saraswati, I have a lovely workshop available.

This workshop includes an 80-minute video and accompanying 20+ page workbook, beautifully designed and filled with extras not included in the main class. 

You’ll explore mantra meditation, pranayama, rituals, and guided practice for connecting with this divine goddess’s energy. 

This course is regularly $33, but I’m offering it for free to anyone who becomes a paid subscriber during the month of May.