The Art of Welcoming: Healing Our Parts and Possessions

And reflections on the ethics and dangers of parts work (Part 3).

The first two pieces (Part 1) and (Part 2) in this series on parts work and shamanism explored the theory, gifts, and pitfalls of these approaches. In this third installment, we’ll look at parts work in practice — the techniques used, but more importantly, the potential dangers and essential ethics around doing this work.

Note: This particular series focuses mostly on the parts that take over our psyches — whether these are our own parts or foreign influences. 

Exiles — those parts of ourselves that have been buried, rejected, and forgotten — will be the focus of another article. From a shamanic lens, there’s some overlap with the concept of soul retrieval here, and this topic deserves its own full exploration.

The Art of Welcoming

Underlying all of the methods I’ll explore here — the traditional and the more metaphysical — is the art of welcoming.

My use of this term originates in Advaita philosophy. I suppose this is a bit ironic when it comes to parts and possession, as Advaita centers around the notion of non-dual awareness, and with parts work we’re literally piecing our psyche apart. 

Yet the intention of parts work is to integrate these parts back into our whole selves, so the art of welcoming is a perfect first step.

All of us want to be seen, heard, loved, and understood — and our parts are no different. 

If we’re met with judgment, criticism, or rejection, our response is most often defense. We double down on whatever we’re trying to communicate. 

Think about it on the most basic level: If you say you’re upset and someone responds with, “It’s not that bad. You’ll be okay.” … you’ll likely respond with all the reasons why it really is that bad and you really won’t be okay. 

Why? The immediate dismissal of your experience makes you feel as if you weren’t really heard in the first place. Most humans can’t take in any new information unless they feel heard and understood first. 

When you try to dismiss or negate the experiences of a part, the same thing happens: It will get louder and louder until you really listen.

The art of welcoming disarms our parts and opens us to receiving the wisdom each holds. Only once each part is heard, understood, and loved can it be effectively worked with and integrated. 

This is why, no matter what other methods you use, the art of welcoming is the foundational first step for parts work.

 

A Practice: Seeing with Angelic Eyes

Meeting our parts with compassion is not easy. Traditional approaches will have you connect with your higher wisdom or core self first. Skipping this step means that a part could be doing the welcoming for another part — so the parts dance continues, without the level of true love and compassion needed for healing.

One practice I love is to see our parts with angelic eyes. The angels I work with carry the essence of unconditional love, so seeing through their eyes creates a welcoming foundation.

The practice is simple. Invite an angel — Archangel Haniel is a wonderful choice if you’re just getting started — to share their sight with you. Feel their presence, drop your ego, and tune into the feeling of divine love. You can simply relax as the angel takes charge. Once in this state, invite your parts to come forth and be seen. Welcome them with love.

Parts Work Methodology

Whether it comes to IFS, general coaching, archetypal explorations, and even shamanic journeying — working with your parts looks pretty similar: intention, visualization, somatic experiencing, and dialoguing. Let’s break this down.

Setting the Intention

Usually, parts work is motivated by something in your life that isn’t working — a belief, pattern, feeling, etc. Getting clear on what you would like to address sets the container for the work ahead.

Somatic Experiencing & Visualization

These two components — feeling into your body and visualization — guide the process, and the emphasis each gets will shift depending on the natural tendencies of the person involved. 

For example, you might begin by feeling into a sensation, locating that sensation within your body, and then visualizing that sensation as a part of yourself that you can communicate with.

Or, you might think of a belief you want to work on, find a color for that belief, and then sense what that color feels like within your body. 

You might also enter into a journey state and then visualize yourself meeting with a part — perhaps the part looks like you, or perhaps it's represented by an animal or other being.

Regardless of the style here, there will generally be some visualization and some body-based feeling throughout the process. This might happen through therapeutic guidance, meditation, hypnosis, or shamanic journeying. 

Dialoguing

Eventually, you’ll make contact with a part of your psyche that holds the beliefs in question — this is where the dialoging begins. 

As mentioned before, one of the core needs of all people is to feel seen, heard, and understood — and the same goes for your parts. When you make contact with a part, the first step is to give it space to fully express itself. 

A skillful practitioner will guide you to explore the origins, motivations, and effects of this part on your life. If you’re already somewhat experienced with parts work, you might also dialogue yourself through journaling.

Then comes the differentiation — the aim of this process is to help you differentiate between your parts and your Self, so you can become less reactive and more self-aware. 

This might involve looking at who you are now compared to who you were when the part developed. It might involve exploring places where you parts hold conflicting beliefs and agendas, and then creating space for your higher wisdom to come in. 

There’s a growing body of evidence that this process truly does work wonders — leading to improved emotional regulation, self-compassion, and overall psychological well-being. And yet the differentiation stage cannot be rushed. Even if as a practitioner you see the light at the end of your client's tunnel, sometimes we humans simply need more time to sit in our pain. 

This is because healing is alchemical — not heroic. We must allow time for the ingredients of our transformation to simmer in their slow burning cauldron without judgment. The instant pot approach to ending our pain might sound lovely…but our psyches were born of slower times.  

Taoist Alchemical Anointing Practices for Parts Work

Sticking with the theme of alchemy…

The Taoist alchemical tradition I apprentice in is pure magic when it comes to parts work, largely because of the unique way it enables us to work with possession — whether this comes from a part of yourself taking over, or whether a foreign energy is involved.

Rooted in the Jade Purity lineage, this approach integrates acupuncture points and essential oils — the vibrational combination of specific oils with specific meridians shifts the flow of energy within your body. (Yes, there were true essential oils in 1st century BCE China, when this shamanic lineage began — more on that later.)

The system is quite complex, but here’s the basic idea when it comes to working with parts: Different channels of energy (meridians) are associated with how your different parts are expressed. By placing anointing oils on key sets of acupoints, the vibration of your own energy system is altered. This is true whether the part in question is a part of your own psyche, or whether it’s actually a part that’s not yours (ie, some sort of foreign energy). In other words…

If part of YOU is possessing you, this shift in energy begins to loosen that part’s grip. If the part is actually a foreign being, your energy body becomes a more and more uncomfortable place for that being to stay.

While the general process of working with your own parts is hopefully clear at this point, you might be feeling swirly around this whole “possession” thing — anointing helps, but there’s much more we can do to clear foreign entities and their psychic influence on us.

Let’s take a look at some of the techniques for working with parts that aren’t actually yours…

Diagnosing Foreign Entities 

As I mentioned in the previous installations of this series, not all the “parts” you meet belong to you. (If this still has you going wtf?, take a look at the section entitled “Possession and Spirit Entanglement” in this article.) 

And, as a reminder — the last thing we want to do is integrate something that’s not actually ours. Rather, when we encounter an entity that is influencing us yet not part of us, our work is to release that entity.

Let me pause for a moment before describing the basic techniques here. This is big work, and I believe that in order to really do this type of spiritual service, you should have solid training around protection, filling up with your own power, discernment in the spirit worlds, and additional techniques for helping spirits cross into the light or return to other realms (and you should be able to know which option is appropriate). I’m not going to go into that much detail in this article, but if you want to learn more, stay in touch — I cover these topics in advanced trainings and workshops. 

Disclaimer out of the way, let’s look at what generally happens when a “part” isn’t yours: 

The diagnosis is the first step. As I’ve discussed previously, this piece alone requires a highly skilled practitioner for a few reasons…

First, when foreign spirits attach to us, most people don’t notice it happening. (I certainly do now, but this comes from years of experience and extremely high sensitivity.) This means that you will most likely assume the foreign spirit is one of your own parts.

On top of this, the entity that is expressing as a part usually doesn’t fully realize that it’s not an actual part of you either! In this case, it falls on the skill and insight of the practitioner to unweave these entanglements enough to truly discern what is and isn’t yours.

Second, spirits are often attracted to energy that feels comfortable, familiar, and resonant. This means that a part of you and a spirit attachment can co-exist and present in the same way. (I’d say this is the case with at least 95% of possessions…)

For example, maybe you have a tendency toward low self esteem around how you look. A part of you might believe that your looks equal your worth, and you might notice some effects of this belief in your daily life. 

Now, imagine a disembodied spirit is drawn to this belief and attaches to your energy. The part that is yours and the foreign entity both hold similar energy and beliefs, so the lines between them begin to blur. 

This can result in the effects of your belief beginning to multiply. For an extreme example: what might have been a preoccupation with preventing wrinkles could turn into an addiction to plastic surgery over time.

When this dynamic is at play, one of two things can happen: 

One, the part that is yours might reveal itself first. Then, when general parts work has shifted your own energy enough, the foreign presence becomes clear. Often simply working with your own beliefs is enough for the foreign entity become uncomfortable and move on.

Two, a skilled practitioner might identify the foreign energy first. Then, once this energy has been cleared, working with and integrating the related part becomes much easier. 

There’s really no right or wrong order here, so long as both elements are taken care of.

Spirit Release: Psychopomp and Compassionate Depossession

Once the diagnosis of a foreign part has been identified, the disentangling begins. 

In my own training, I’ve observed two main approaches to this work (in addition to the Taoist practices mentioned above): psychopomp and compassionate depossession.

Psychopomp

Let’s start with psychopomp. The word “psychopomp” originates from Greek mythology and refers to someone who guides souls to the place of the dead. In much the same way, we can learn to guide lost or stuck souls into the light, where they can continue their soul’s evolution. 

When using psychopomp to release a foreign “part”, the practitioner enters into an altered state (often a shamanic journey) to communicate with the attached spirit on your behalf. While sometimes the spirit will be happy to be seen and ready to leave, delicate dialoguing is often needed to prepare them to disentangle from your energy. 

And this dialogue can look a lot like we’re talking to a part! We welcome and witness the spirits compassionately, give them space to express themselves, ask questions to understand who they are, and learn about the effects they’re having on your life.

Just as dialoguing creates greater awareness between parts and Self, we dialogue with spirits to create greater differentiation between Self and other.

When enough healing has taken place, the practitioner will then help the spirit cross into the light or another place, depending on what’s needed. 

With this approach, the entire process happens in a journey state. The practitioner is holding the dialogue while the client is resting. Once complete, the practitioner may share what they’ve found with their client — or they may simply say that the work is done without any added story. 

As an ethical note here, I feel that it’s important to check in with your client before having a spirit “cross over”. Even though 99% of my clients are ready to release any foreign energy from their fields, it’s possible that the client will want more space around integration before the work is done on their behalf (especially if the foreign entity is known to them in some way).

Compassionate Depossession

Compassionate depossession, originated by Betsy Bergstrom, is the other major approach to this work.

This approach looks a lot like traditional parts work, only the intention is for further separation rather than integration. Here’s how it works in brief:

You begin with somatic awareness, finding a place in the body that feels uncomfortable. Then, you move deeper and deeper into that place until the entity more fully differentiates itself, often first as a color, and eventually as an actual spirit.

Then the dialoguing takes place — only rather than giving voice to a part of self (as with parts work), the client gives voice to the spirit. 

The main difference between psychopomp and compassionate depossession is the role of the client. Whereas the shamanic practitioner dialogues on behalf of the client in psychopomp work, the client is expressing the foreign entity themselves during compassionate depossession.

As with psychopomp (and IFS for those therapists who work with foreign entities), once the differentiation is clear and healing is complete, the practitioner helps the spirit cross into the light or another realm. 

Is one better than the other?

Some practitioners feel that having the client be an active participant in their own healing, i.e. “giving voice” to the possession, creates greater awareness and separation and therefore can be more healing and impactful.

Other practitioners find that too much “story” can actually get in the way of healing, and they feel that energetic work done on behalf of a client can be more impactful without re-traumatizing or distracting them.

I use both approaches. I can’t tell you how many times my spirit guides have told me to stop letting my Western mind fill in every blank with “story”. And yet I’m often shown that my client must do the work for themselves in order for it to stick.

So no, I don’t think one approach is necessarily better than the other here. 

But I do think that compassionate depossession, and parts work in general, have particular dangers that traditional psychopomp doesn’t have — and can cause as much damage as healing when used in the wrong ways…

The Dangers of Parts Work & Compassionate Depossession

Whenever we are guided into a meditative state, whether through a visualization or a shamanic journey, we are altering our brain waves — usually aiming for a theta state. 

This is basically a light form of hypnosis. 

And this is both why parts work can be so effective…and why it can be so dangerous.

Remember how in the 1980s and 1990s, there was a wave of people “discovering” that they were sexually abused through hypnosis? While childhood sexual abuse is way, way, way more common that most people are comfortable admitting, it came to light that in most of these hypnosis cases, the memories of abuse had been accidentally implanted by well-meaning therapists. 

You don’t want to implant parts or possessions into your clients. 

Our brains are powerful and memory is elusive. When we enter into a theta state, we become much more susceptible to suggestions. 

The upside of this is that, with guidance, it becomes easier for us to access and communicate with different parts in our psyche. 

The downside is that it’s also easier for us to accept and integrate information that’s not true.

When it comes to parts work, the danger is that a practitioner or therapist will let their personal biases and judgements get in the way of the work. This is of course possible in all types of therapy — but because of the suggestive nature of parts work, a practitioner’s own projections can more easily influence or take over a client’s actual experience.

The key here: Do your own work. Know your parts and your biases. Keep checking your filters. And always create an even playing field with your client — they are the experts on their own lives. 

When it comes to compassionate depossession, I feel the dangers are even greater than with general parts work... 

First, it’s really, really hard to have a completely even playing field with compassionate depossession. The shamanic practitioner is often seen as having a connection with spirit and guidance from the otherworlds that the client can’t access on their own. Add in the idea that a client is possessed — and good lord, they’ll want to do anything to be free again! 

Second, the spiritual nature of this work touches extremely deep and intimate levels of the psyche. Spiritual waters are where we make meaning, find purpose, heal karma, and connect with our own intuition. People become open in ways they normally aren’t when they choose to receive spiritual healing.

Together, these factors mean that compassionate depossession can do a lot of damage in the wrong hands. Over the many years I’ve spent in shamanic circles, I’ve witnessed several tragic examples of this…

One woman was told that she was possessed by her deceased twin brother, who was suffering and needed to cross into the light. Even though this woman was highly intuitive and had worked with the spirit of her twin in helpful, wonderful ways for years, she felt shaken and dirtied by this information and struggled to trust her own intuition afterwards.

Another woman was told that she was possessed by a warrior who was making her angry. The result of this “depossession” was that she shut down her ability to feel her own anger and connect with her own warrior nature. It wasn’t until years later, once she felt overwhelmingly weak and unable to take action in her own life, that she realized the extent of the psychological damage she’d received. 

And a personal story: 

When I told the teacher of my three-year shamanic practitioner training program that I had been accepted to Sangra Ingerman’s teacher training, she told me that I was possessed by an Egyptian goddess who was making me arrogant. 

In retrospect, I can see how crazy this sounds. Even at the time I didn’t think this scenario made any sense. Yet, this woman had been my spiritual teacher and primary healer for two years at this point, and the unhealthy power dynamic she created along with my trust led me to go along with the “healing”. 

She proceeded to hypnotize me and try to make me believe that this goddess was harming me, that I was full of myself and shouldn’t be teaching anything, and that I needed to stay under her wing for more training and protection. 

In that hypnotic state, I heard myself say things I didn’t want to say. I felt myself separate from a benevolent ally — the goddess — who I didn’t want to lose. 

By the end I felt depleted and violated. 

It should be obvious that this wasn’t a true depossession or parts work style healing. This was a teacher with deep insecurities who saw me, perhaps on a subconscious level, as a threat or as competition — sadly, something that’s still all too common even in spiritual communities.

Rather than supporting the expansion of my gifts, this teacher tried to sabotage my growth in a psychologically harmful and controlling manner. 

I don’t know how much of this was intentional or how much of it came from deep down in her own internal fear realms — which is why we must continually check our own filters if we offer these types of services. 

I was so shaken after this session that I almost dropped out of Sandra’s teacher training — not so much because I felt arrogant, but because I felt empty and disillusioned. I had been harmed by the practices I loved and believed in. And I began to question whether any of this work had value…let alone was real.*

*To be fair, it is generally a good idea to keep questioning yourself like this. Though painful, this experience has directly impacted the depth of my knowledge on parts work and possession and working with others in general. This series probably wouldn’t exist without that break in my faith.

Fortunately I had very good and wise friends who supported me during this time, reminding me of what I knew in my heart to be true. 

When I did attend Sandra’s two-year teacher training, it provided me with the spiritual healing I needed to recover from that incident and end things with the dangerous teacher for good. 

But wow — what an education in what not to do as a practitioner. 

Final Thoughts

I hope you’ve found this series helpful. Despite its dangers, working with parts and possessions is an essential part of my healing practice and personal journey. And the challenges I’ve experienced have greatly informed how I approach these practices for the better. 

What part of this series stood out to you the most? Where do you still have questions? This is a huge topic — let’s keep the conversation going in the comments :)